Pavarti
October 27th, 2009
I was really looking forward to Wednesday because that was the day I could finally get over to New Life Children’s Home. New Life is the home that Westside started 2 years back and after almost 2 years in a rented facility we were finally able to transfer the children to our new property on Sept. 30. So this is the first time I have seen the property occupied by children since my last visit in July. It is amazing what kids will do to land and buildings. I thought the natural beauty of the place was amazing enough but to now see several buildings completed, 165 or so kids in their outfits running around smiling and yelling Hi Viser and then flashing me the “I Love You” in sign language is pretty special.
We ended our day yesterday at New Life with a BBQ and a bonfire. That’s right a good ole fashioned BBQ, just not KC Style as I forgot to bring my Jack Stack Rub and Sauce so we just settled for some other marinade and then the chicken and mutton hit the grill and I got to play pit boss.
I think I did a decent job because I didn’t see anyone keel over and my buddy Doug even confessed to eating the mutton and saying it was quite good. Somehow that doesn’t register with me but many foods don’t.
A couple of things happened yesterday which if I shared would really make this long so I am only going to share what I twittered last night.
Late in the afternoon I decided to skip out on some conference sessions since my time of teaching was over and join Doug and Valerie in visiting some places where we could find women interested in micro finance. Dr. Premdas’ daughter, Neelima who is the co-director at New Life Children’s Home took us to a village where a market was in full swing and there we interviewed and photographed women who were enrolled in a micro finance program as well as take stories and information from those women who were interested in getting started in one. The information that we collected was pretty brief but when working through an interpreter things take a tad longer which allows crowds to form and then brings further discussions as to who we are, why men can’t be involved, and no, we don’t have any cash on us today.
I think we collected about 5 stories when Neelima asked if we wanted to try another market in another village and we said sure, a change of scenery is always a good thing. We got back in our vehicle and were driving away when Neelima then asked if we would like to visit some HIV/Aids ladies who were interested in the micro finance program and we of course thought that sounded better than just another village. (Better to get into the nitty gritty than to stay comfortably on the outside.)
About 10 minutes later we pull over on the side of the National Highway and to our left were rows of houses and so we got out and were led into a small courtyard. We were greeted by a young man and a young woman who I estimated to be in her early 30’s. We were told this woman had Aids and asked her if we could spend some time speaking with her and she agreed so we sat down and started to learn her story.
Unfortunately what I heard is all too common but let me share it anyway – Pavarti was 35 I believe and lost her husband sometime back to Aids, she had 3 children with 2 of them being HIV positive and both dying; one at 3 years of age, another at 2 ½ months. Her 3 child is a beautiful 11 year old girl who to date has tested negative. Mom and kids contracted the disease from Dad who probably picked it up from a sex worker though this question was specifically asked but seems to be the typical answer when asked, anyway Pavarti is sick. She showed us her medical reports and her treatment record for the drugs they have her on but she is worried. She is experience headaches, hasn’t eaten in 2 weeks and resultantly is very weak.
I ask how can she afford to live where she is living and she tells us this is her in-laws place and they feel really guilty because it was their son who has brought on all this tragedy and so they have provided a place for her to stay. She has no job though and her survival is due to her sister –in-law who brings small amounts of food for her and her daughter and yet she now doesn’t eat because of her sickness. There was another fellow there who was very kind to us and promptly brought us cool drinks and it turns out this is the husband’s brother, so in one sense Pavarti is lucky; she wasn’t cast out as in many cases but is being looked after.
At some point I ask if there is any way she would want to participate in a micro finance program and she says yes but she is fearful she won’t live long enough to be able to enroll and receive the assistance she desires. I then ask what is it that she really wants and she tells me a cow.
A cow?
Yes, a cow. If she has a cow she can at least milk it and be able to sell the milk and make more money than if she just opened up an enterprise selling fish or vegetables. Ultimately with a cow she could breed it and then sell the off spring. At this point I was all ears especially after realizing the power that a cow could have in her life; a source of revenue would be huge for this woman and her daughter. I inquired as to the price and after doing the math it came down to $500.
This seemed like a lot to me when thinking in terms of micro finance – 1 small loan at a time, $24 to $50 to be exact and knowing that it would take years for this woman to work up enough credit and borrowing history to get a $500 loan to buy her cow and by then it would be too late.
At this point I am starting to feel helpless as I literally have nothing to offer her and I can begin to sense her desperation and discouragement.
As I am speaking with her I am suspecting that she might be a Christian as I haven’t noticed any outward Hindu markings or signs on the houses, ground or on her and so I inquire and she tells me that she is in fact a Christian.
I sit in my chair and I stare, not in an uncomfortable way for her but a contemplative way, what do I say next, what can I offer this sister in the faith?
I share that I don’t have money, I can’t give her a cow, but what I do have is the ability to pray for her and to remind her that as a Christian, Jesus has promised her life, eternal life, he has also promised her that he would be by her side and that she can experience his presence each and every day.
I also reminded her of how much he loves and cares for her and I call her 11 year old daughter over and wrap my arms around her and remind her this is Jesus wrapping his arms around her. At this point she is sobbing and it comes out that she is worried for her daughter. Who will care for her when she dies and this is her biggest fear in death – her daughter and her well-being.
Ahh, I say, do you know who we are? At this point I am referring more to who we represent, in my head I am screaming I’m the dude that can get your daughter in not 1 but your choice, 2, premium, top of the line, Jesus loving, God centered Children Homes. Take your pick; do you want her at Light of Love or New Life? Either one, it’s a done deal, she’s sponsored. I decide this thinking isn’t best kept inside so I share it with her and you could really sense some relief take over.
At this juncture I ask her if we could pray for her and she of course says “Yes” and we pray asking God to lift her up and comfort her. We ask that life be granted to her and that she could live many more productive years here on earth, that she could see her daughter complete school and go off to college. We ask that God would lift her up and surround her with His presence, that His angels would protect her from all sorts of evil, and there were other things we prayed but let me end by saying we prayed.
As I finished I let go of her hands and Valerie promptly stepped in and held her tightly at which point she melted. I don’t know when the last time Pavarti was held but I am pretty sure it has been a long time.
As we were leaving she said, “You were sent by God, I was very discouraged and had lost hope that anyone knew my situation or even cared. The family knows and shows care but outside of that no one, I began to doubt that God cared and yet he sent you to me today and that shows me he does care.
Pavarti is right. God does care and He uses people to touch people and to remind them that there is hope.
$500 doesn’t seem like a lot to me anymore.
Will you help?
www.wellsforlife.org there is a Give button, click it, use Pay Pal and know you are helping Pavarti and her daughter live.
I am completely familiar with Pavarti and her daughter from our trip there in February! When we did the professional videography, I interviewed Pavarti, along with Neelima as the translator, and spent a considerable amount of time with she and her daughter as well. I held her, I cried with her, we prayed.
Her now not eating for 2 weeks….not good. I am so glad you shared that her daughter will have a safe, secure, and loving place once Pavarti has passed away. For a mother to know that is priceless and comforting beyond words.
Mike. I just finished a video about Parvathi for the TasPhilas Microloan program. Thanks for highlighting her on your site. My prayers are with all of you.
One more thing. Tonight begins the kickoff for raising money for the microloan program. Tell Parvathi that in the next several months hundreds of women in America will hear her story and be giving their money to help her and other women just like her. This was no coincidence.
Parvathi represents the women of India who are oppressed and have no one to advocate for them. Thank God that you have had the privilege of being the Light of Love for her and her daughter. Praise God. And there are many more Parvathi’s out there. This is only the beginning.